In my eyes.
Wow. Tonight was so bittersweet. I found out that I'm not going to be able to hang out with Brent as often due to his fucking work- WELL OVER CHILD LABOUR LAWS, MIND YOU- 3 to 9 Mondays through Wednesdays, Fridays (until 11), and Sundays. So yeah, that just makes me so happy.
We had fun today, Dylan, Brent and I, but I'm crying now. I just... you know, it's so difficult when you love someone, and you've got no idea how they feel, really. I mean, he drops hints and all, but I just don't know. He acts so concerned about me- calls me when he hasn't heard from me, asks if I'm okay. And nobody that I know has ever done that. And I know I'll never be good enough for someone so caring, so heartfelt. I mean, we were talking about how in ten years, I'm going to be out on the streets, mooching for a living because I'm a musician or an actress. He says 'just don't wind up like Ellice from Chugworth' and I say something about 'I probably will, dude.' And he gives me a little growl and says 'No you won't. I won't allow it.' And I'm like WTF? What are you implying? So I'm trying not to cry at the thought of that. I'm sure he'll forget me someday, though he promises he won't- he says he can't. But I doubt that. So I'm confused and I feel like there's a stick through my heart. Ow.
And I'm thinking what if I wait a day too long? Like in RENT? Speaking of which- LYRICS:
"Your eyes
As we said our goodbyes
Can't get them out of my mind
And I find I can't hide
From your eyes
The ones that took me by surprise
The night you came into my life
Where there's moonlight I see your eyes
How'd I let you slip away
When I'm longing so to hold you
Now I'd die for one more day
'Cause there's something I should have told you
Yes there's something I should have told you
When I looked into your eyes
Why does distance make us wise?
You were the song all along
And before this song dies
I should tell you I should tell you
I have always loved you
You can see it in my eyes."
If I could just say it.
We had fun today, Dylan, Brent and I, but I'm crying now. I just... you know, it's so difficult when you love someone, and you've got no idea how they feel, really. I mean, he drops hints and all, but I just don't know. He acts so concerned about me- calls me when he hasn't heard from me, asks if I'm okay. And nobody that I know has ever done that. And I know I'll never be good enough for someone so caring, so heartfelt. I mean, we were talking about how in ten years, I'm going to be out on the streets, mooching for a living because I'm a musician or an actress. He says 'just don't wind up like Ellice from Chugworth' and I say something about 'I probably will, dude.' And he gives me a little growl and says 'No you won't. I won't allow it.' And I'm like WTF? What are you implying? So I'm trying not to cry at the thought of that. I'm sure he'll forget me someday, though he promises he won't- he says he can't. But I doubt that. So I'm confused and I feel like there's a stick through my heart. Ow.
And I'm thinking what if I wait a day too long? Like in RENT? Speaking of which- LYRICS:
"Your eyes
As we said our goodbyes
Can't get them out of my mind
And I find I can't hide
From your eyes
The ones that took me by surprise
The night you came into my life
Where there's moonlight I see your eyes
How'd I let you slip away
When I'm longing so to hold you
Now I'd die for one more day
'Cause there's something I should have told you
Yes there's something I should have told you
When I looked into your eyes
Why does distance make us wise?
You were the song all along
And before this song dies
I should tell you I should tell you
I have always loved you
You can see it in my eyes."
If I could just say it.
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